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  • Everything You Need To Know About Sugar Babies

    “I always say this and people take it the wrong way, but I think it’s awkward to date someone who makes less money than me.”

     

    This bold statement comes from Brook, a pretty 24-year-old who is easily the centre of gravity at the bar we’re in. Originally from California, she has long brown hair falling in loose curls to her shoulders, and a confident manner that makes socialising a breeze.

    She’s good company, and she knows it – if I were wealthy and had a penis, she might even charge me for it. Brook is a sugar baby, you see. She arranges relationships with sugar daddies, men (usually older, always richer) who shower her with gifts and money.

    We’re in a bar in central London, drinking strawberry-topped champagne with 30 other women who want to be more like Brook. Hosted bySeekingArrangement.com, an online dating site for sugar relationships, this is an event for sugar babies to network and swap tips. Brook, who’s been a sugar baby for four years, is a spokeswoman for the brand and says it’s not all about the money.

    “I want to feel that someone’s on my level and that I can learn from them, and that they’re at least as successful as me. It’s just, like, you have to have a similar lifestyle expectation to get along. And that’s true of any successful relationship.”

    Since launching in 2006, Seeking Arrangement has swelled to over 5.5 million members. If you’re in search of a pretty young thing and are prepared to put your money where your heart is, then the odds are in your favour – a whopping 4 million of Seeking Arrangement’s users are sugar babies. Just be aware that joining the site will pit you against other sugar daddies with an average salary of around £220,000.

    But despite Seeking Arrangement’s many members, mainstream morality still tends to look down on sugar babies. Outlandish Daily Mail headlines decry such scandalous behaviour, while ‘gold digger’ is still a common insult used to describe a manipulative woman willing to use her sexuality to ensnare a rich, unwitting man. Is that really what’s going on in modern sugar relationships?

    As I stand here in this pretend-cave bar, surrounded by fake foliage and an exotic fish tank, I can’t help but be reminded of the kitsch 90s game show Man O Man. To many, the concept of sugar dating is just as throwback. At a time when women are free to pursue their own careers and make their own money, why do sugar babies choose to stay dependent upon men? Just as the rise of third-wave feminism tries to crush the idea that a woman’s worth comes only from her ability to attract men, why do sugar babies appear to be running backwards towards old, sexist tropes? And what kind of man is actually willing to pay money for a ‘relationship’?

    The Spoiling

    Brook first fell into the sugar game as a 20-year old journalism student. In the bar of Las Vegas' five-star Cosmopolitan hotel, a 37-year old man who “made most of his money in tech” decided to make his move on her.

    They arranged to meet for dinner and hit it off. The following weekend she visited him in Miami where they checked into a fancy hotel room and went shopping. In the five months the long-distance relationship lasted, Brook was treated to a series of holidays, Louis Vuitton shoes and more shopping. But it ended when things started getting too serious. “He wanted me to move to Miami and switch schools, and I didn’t want that because I wasn’t ready – I couldn’t even drink,” she tells me.

    It wasn’t actually until a friend told her to join Seeking Arrangement that Brook realised she had been a sugar baby. “I was like, ‘What do you mean? There’s a word for that?’” Not only did she sign up to the site, but she applied for a job there and now travels the world representing the brand.

    Brook sees the main difference between a sugar relationship and a “normal” relationship as “the spoiling. And me being OK with being spoiled. A lot of women are not okay with even having dinner paid for them. They’re not comfortable with a man taking care of them,” she says.

    “And I totally, 100% respect that, more power to you. But there’s the other girls who don’t want to go Dutch, who do want a guy to take care of them, who expect a guy to pay – and I’ve always expected a guy to pay.”

    Mutually Beneficial 

    Although the bar is largely full of young women, keen to learn how to turn their encounters into something financially rewarding, my expectations are being challenged. I spot a young man, seeking a sugar daddy himself perhaps – or maybe a sugar mama? It’s not just the older-guy-and-younger-girl stereotype. Roughly 1 in 8 sugar babies on Seeking Arrangement are men (a mix of both straight and LGBT men), while for every three sugar daddy members there is also one sugar mama.

    Brook tells me about sugar daddies who aren’t looking for sex because they’re older and unable to perform, or married men whose wives don’t want to hear all of their gripes at the end of the day. “They want to have a beautiful girl who will touch their arm and tell them everything’s OK,” she says.

    “I know a sugar daddy who was going through a transition late in life to become a woman,” Brook says. She talks of a transgender woman who had recently divorced her wife of around 40 years and now had no one to talk to. Through Seeking Arrangement, she found a female sugar baby who taught her how to wear makeup, accompanied her in public during her transition and who she could talk to.

    For Laura*, 21, a sugar relationship saved her from a situation that had become increasingly desperate. As a student in London nearing her exams, she was forced to get a restraining order on her house mate, who had become aggressive and had started destroying her possessions.

    Moving into emergency accommodation, she was left with piling housing debts, which weren’t helped by a scheming landlord who had stolen her deposit. Around the same time, one of her parents lost their job while the other was demoted, and Laura worked three jobs in order to pay her rent and send money home for their mortgage. Unsurprisingly, she became ill from the stress.

    “I was like, even with all my jobs, I need to move and stat, or otherwise I don’t even know what’s going to happen to me,” she says. “I was thinking about sex work and escorting. But I was like, I don’t want to get into sex work through desperation.”

    When Laura joined Seeking Arrangement, her first few dates were “completely platonic”. “I was like, I’m not going to sleep with anyone, I’m just here for theatre shows, trips, companionship. And I managed to make a few hundred just from that.”

    Then she met a couple in their thirties who shared similar interests with her and who she got on well with. They paid her £500 a month to be in an open relationship with them and took her to Paris. Laura says the sex developed naturally. “They weren’t paying me to have sex with them, they were paying me because we were in a relationship. They cared about me.”

    Although the relationship ended after six or seven months, the experience was, for Laura, a positive one, and she continues to seek sugar relationships today.  “All my other relationships have been platonic. Just from the last couple of weeks I’ve made £500 from dates with people. So I think it can be such a good thing for girls to do.”

     

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  • Man Waited YEARS To Have Sex With Bride. Then He Learns She’s Having Another Man’s...

    - A new husband got a huge shock after he thought his wife-to-be had been faithfully celibate throughout their courtship.

    - Apparently the reason for that was because they were both devout Christians.

    - It turns out that after they got married, she was found to be pregnant with another man's child

    The new husband said that only weeks after celebrating their marriage vows, his wife announced that she was pregnant - four months' pregnant!

     

    He says that he can only assume that she had been unfaithful, as he swears that he kept up his end of the deal and remained a virgin - as he expected she would.

    It has not been reported the nationality of the couple, but there are not many cultures in which this extreme form of 'celibacy before marriage' still exist.

    The husband has said that trust has been broken and he is considering opting out of the new marriage due to the lack of faith in his spouse and his extreme religious beliefs.

    There are many men in this world who have taken on their beloved's children by other fathers and brought them up as their own, but this is still taboo to others.

     

    It would be interesting to find out the outcome of this complicated story.

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  • 11 signs you should never let her go

    Occasionally, we meet a woman who turns out to be the one we’ve been looking for our whole life — the woman of our dreams. Such encounters are often completely unexpected. Nevertheless, they change us forever.

     

    Nature made us in such a way that two contrasting halves can become a perfect whole. The search for that other half often turns out to be an arduous journey. But believe me, you’ll know you’ve found her if you can say these 11 things about her. And if you’re lucky enough to find that single, perfect flower out there in the desert, hold on to her as strongly as you can; never let her go.

     

     

     

    She’s supportive

     

    Every man needs a woman who has the wisdom to help him get through life successfully. It’s often said that behind every great man stands an even greater woman, and this is true. Without a woman, a man can sometimes be little more than an egoist. A woman will bring meaning and direction to his life, and make him wiser.

     

     

     

    She’s beautiful

     

    Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder. If she’s the most beautiful woman you’ve ever seen — according to your taste, and no one else’s — then hold on to her. There are people who pay too much attention to someone’s physical appearance, and there are those who, perhaps in reaction to this, have revolted against the very idea that external beauty is important at all. Yet human beings have reveled in each other’s beauty as long as they’ve been able to see, and they shouldn’t feel ashamed to do so. But only if we recognise that, whilst it’s important, it’s not the most important thing we should value in someone.

     

     

     

    She’s kind and attentive

     

    If a woman isn’t kind at heart, then what meaningful place can she really have in your life? It almost goes without saying that the love of your life should be someone who looks after you, in every sense of the word.

     

     

     

    She’s energetic

     

    Sometimes, life is complicated. Sometimes, it can be boring and monotonous. Women aren’t there just to distract men from all this. Nevertheless, it’s more likely than not that you’ll feel a great deal happier with a woman who is energetic, lively and looking for adventure.

     

     

     

    She loves you to the bottom of her heart

     

    This is without question the most important thing. When a woman loves someone, she loves them with all her heart, dedicating herself entirely to them. If you find a woman who genuinely loves you, then you’ve found the most precious treasure the world can offer you.

     

     

     

    She knows how to compromise

     

    Everyone can be stubborn. Often we’re satisfied with the way things are, and aren’t especially open to the idea that something needs to change. Of course, finding a woman who’s ready to compromise is only half the battle — you have to be ready as well. A successful relationship is built on compromise, and you have no choice but to accept this if you want it to last.

     

     

     

    She makes you feel that you’re in the right place

     

    You know you’re in love with someone when you feel that you’ve found your own unique place in this world, as if for the first time in your life. You’re where you should be, and you don’t need anything or anyone else. If you see your own soul reflected in her eyes, then you’re home, at last. Why on Earth would you leave?

     

     

     

    She’s more than happy to tell you when you’re wrong

     

    Every man needs a woman who will let him know when he’s acting foolishly. Guys have this strange ability to make the wrong decisions and do really stupid things. When you find that woman who keeps you on the right track and tells you when you’re wrong, you’re life can only get better — even if you sometimes find it frustrating.

     

     

     

    She has strength of character

     

    All of us are looking for someone who fits our own idea of the perfect woman, but in every case this means some combination of strength and feminity. A woman with strength of character is exactly what every man needs. And one that expresses her feminity in whichever way she chooses is...well, also ideal. These two qualities are not contradictory; in fact they can be combined in an ideal way.

     

     

     

    She’s passionate

     

    A life filled with passion is the only one worth living. To feel the fire of passion within and have no one to express it to is impossible to bear. Passion only works when it’s expressed between two people. And if she doesn’t have this, then chances are your relationship is lacking something vital.

     

     

     

    She means everything to you

     

    Very often, when we fall madly in love with someone, we can’t explain why. The point is that you don’t need a reason. If you love her and can’t imagine life without her, don’t let her go. You should realise how much she means to you. Sometimes, men don’t see this until it’s too late. We always assume we’ll get a second chance to be together — well, perhaps you will. But there’s an equal chance that you won’t; you really might lose her forever. And then you’ll be filled with regret for the rest of your life, because you let the most important thing in the world slip through your fingers. Don’t risk it.

     

    Author: Paul Hudson

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  • 7 ways to tell if someone is cheating on you

    Ever wonder if your significant other isn't being entirely truthful?

    First of all, there's a good chance you're right — it's perfectly normal to lie.

    But if you're worried that someone's fibbing extends into the important stuff, like happiness or fidelity, you might have considered trying to catch them in a lie.

    Unfortunately, science can't tell you if your partner is sleeping around, but it is getting better at spotting when someone — especially a significant other — is being deceptive.

    Here are seven ways to tell if your partner might be keeping something important from you.

    Ask a friend. 

    Other people — strangers, even — have an uncanny ability to detect when something's not right in someone else's relationship.

    BYU psychologists tested out this idea by having couples draw an object together, with one participant blindfolded and the other one giving instructions on what to draw. The whole thing was videotaped. Before they started, the scientists had the couples answer a few questions about their relationship in private, including whether or not they'd ever cheated. 

    Then, the researchers had a group of strangers watch the footage and guess which couples included a partner who'd ever cheated. The volunteers were surprisingly accurate.

    Although preliminary, the research suggests that, simply by watching a couple doing something that requires working together, an outside observer may be able to detect infidelity or unhappiness.

    "People make remarkably accurate judgments about others in a variety of situations after just a brief exposure to their behavior," the researchers wrote in the study.

    Mull it over while doing something else. 

    People are generally bad judges of character — consciously, at least. When we are given time to process another person's actions subconsciously, however, we're far better at telling truth from deceit.

    In 2013, a team of psychologists had a panel of student judges watch people give testimony and decide if they'd lied or told the truth. The students who were given time to think before they made a decision — so long as they were made to think about something other than the case they were assessing — were better at figuring out whether the person they were judging had been deceitful.

    "These findings suggest that the human mind is not unfit to distinguish between truth and deception," write the researchers in the study, "but that this ability resides in previously overlooked processes." 

    Listen carefully to the words they use.

    For a recent study, Southern Methodist University professor of psychology James W. Pennebaker looked at some data he and his colleague Diane Berry had gathered from a text analysis program. They found that some specific patterns of language were helpful at predicting when someone was avoiding the truth.

    Liars, they found, tended to use fewer of the following three types of words:

    First person words, like "I," "me," or "my"

    Cognitive words, like "realize" or "think"

    Exclusive words, like "but" or "except"

    But they tended to use more of the following types of words:

    Negative emotion words, like "hate," "anger," or "enemy"

    Motion verbs, like "walk" or "move"

    Listen to the sound of their voice. 

    Canadian researchers recently had a group of volunteers listen to a pair of voices and rate how attractive each speaker sounded. Then, the researchers asked them to judge how likely each person would be to cheat in a romantic relationship.

    The female volunteers were most likely to say the men with lower-pitched voices would cheat; the men typically guessed that the women with higher-pitched voices would cheat. 

    Research has shown that men with more testosterone tend to have deeper voices, and as it turns out, higher levels of testosterone in men have been linked with higher rates of cheating. The jury is still out on whether there is any such association in women, though, and the researchers have yet to link their findings with actual observed behavior.

    Pay attention to social media use. 

    Does your partner spend more time Snap-chatting than talking to you? Recent research suggests that people who are highly active on two other social networks — Facebook and Twitter — may be more likely to have social-media-related conflict, and subsequently more likely to experience "infidelity, breakup, and divorce." (They haven't studied Snapchat yet.)

    In his study, University of Missouri researcher Russell Clayton studied the social media habits of close to 600 Twitter users. Most people used Twitter for roughly an hour a day, 5 days a week. But those who used it more often than that were more likely to get in arguments with their partners, get divorced, or cheat. The more time they spent on Twitter, the worse the relationship outcomes were.

    It's unlikely that too much tweeting, posting, and liking caused other people to cheat, of course, but if anything the study showed that there's certainly a connection between the two.

    Watch for sudden changes in behavior. 

    If you've been with your significant other for a while, chances are you know how they normally act — what type of foods they eat, how they react to challenges or surprises, how well they listen, and so on.

    Sudden changes in body language, from facial expressions to patterns of speech, can be red flags for duplicitous behavior, according to research from Lillian Glass, a behavioral analyst who once worked with the Federal Bureau of Investigation to study how to spot signs of deceit.

    "Your body experiences these types of changes when you’re nervous and feeling tense — when you lie," she writes in her book, "The Body Language of Liars."

    Lookout for silence, personal attacks, or repeating the question. 

    One telltale sign of lying, says Glass, is a sudden inability to speak. This happens because our automatic nervous system often responds to stress by starving the mouth of saliva.

    Another is veering into personal attacks rather than answering a question that's been asked, write CIA veterans Philip Houston, Michael Floyd, and Susan Carnicero in their recent book, "Spy the Lie." 

    And in a study published in 2011, UCLA professor of psychology R. Edward Geiselman found that people who are lying tend to repeat questions before answering them, "perhaps to give themselves time to concoct an answer," he said in a press release.

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  • Types Of Guys Women Can't Resist

    Working on being the best possible version of yourself is inherently worthwhile, but it doesn’t hurt that it’s likely to make you irresistible to members of the opposite sex, too. Whether it’s having immaculate style, perfect pecs or witty banter, there are certain types of guys that women find impossibly charming, and who seem to have effortless luck with the ladies. Here are the top 10 types of guys women can’t resist:

    1. Funny Guys

    
 Humor is a social lubricant and an aphrodisiac, and it’s pretty much universally attractive, but funny men are particularly desirable in a culture that’s still getting used to the idea of funny women (come on!). Genuinely funny guys have the ability to put people at ease and soothe social tensions; they’re a joy to be around and make attractive potential romantic partners.

    Humor is something people are often blessed with from birth (or from the families they grow up in), but it is possible to work on being funnier, too. Don’t force it, though, and don’t be too confrontational with your humor: being “shocking” or “edgy” for the sake of it is not the same as being genuinely funny, and offensive jokes are pretty passé these days.

    If you’ve always had the ability to make people around you giggle, that’s a precious gift that you should continue to cultivate, and it will serve you well in your endeavors with women.

    2. Socially Conscious Guys

    
 Men who care about the world around them are irresistible to plenty of women. Compassion, motivation and selflessness are attractive qualities in anyone, but when they come together in a social justice-savvy man, women will notice and be drawn to him; partly because these are qualities that are traditionally associated less with men than women.

    It doesn’t really matter whether the cause you care about is racial justice,feminism or environmental causes, women will notice that you are passionate about something beyond yourself, and that’s appealing; particularly to women who also have a social conscience. Obviously, the main focus should be helping out marginalized people and communities, and your intentions need to be genuine, but female attention isn’t a bad side effect!

    3. Smart Guys

    
 It’s always a plus to be able to learn things from the people you’re dating, and intellect is key to keeping a woman engaged and stimulated. Smart guys have a certain gravitas that draws women into their orbits, and women know they won’t be bored around a smart guy — unless, of course, he’s insufferably condescending and stuffy about his smarts.

    Like humor, intelligence can be worked on: Pick up a book or two if you feel you’re lacking in this area, and listen to people from different walks of life with an open mind, as intelligence is often as much about broadening your perspective and having intellectual curiosity as it is about how many facts you have stored in your brain. (Make sure that you combine intelligence with humility to avoid coming off as pretentious, though.)

    4. Nice Guys

    
 The saying is that nice guys finish last, but, to be honest, that’s just something disgruntled (and not very nice) men tell themselves. The opposite is true: Women love nice guys, it’s just that “nice” doesn’t mean “cloying, insipid, and with no interests of one’s own.”

    Genuinely thoughtful, caring and selfless men are widely adored and have no trouble meeting (and keeping) women, so bear this in mind if mean-spirited “pickup artist” theory, focused on “negging” and bringing down women’s self-esteem appeals to you. Try being genuinely kind instead: It’s a much better long-term strategy, and, frankly, it just feels better.

    5. Talented Guys

    It’s hard to resist someone who has a killer talent, whether that’s music, drawing, skating, or, really, anything done to a high level of expertise. Certain talents attract more social cachet than others — men who are brilliant dancers are probably luckier in love than men who are fantastic at juggling, say — but being focused and honing your craft, whatever it is, will attract potential suitors to you, simply because that passion and drive is attractive.

    Everyone has things they’re good at; keeping up on your hobbies has a few benefits: It’s inherently rewarding for you, but it might also spark romantic interest in nearby suitors.

    6. Generous Guys

    
 Generosity is an appealing quality in anyone, but there’s definitely a traditional, gendered appeal to a man who can provide for “his woman” (that is, financially). These kinds of ideas are increasingly outdated and more than a little sexist, but there’s a nugget of truth worth saving in the traditional model: Generosity is appealing, and it doesn’t have to be tied to traditional gender roles, or even to money.

    You can be generous in other ways if you’re not exactly rolling in cash: with your time, with compliments, or with the positivity and good energy you bring to situations. Being free with the things you have in abundance — whether that’s money, time, a helping hand, whatever — will make you a great person to be around full stop, and it certainly won’t hurt your romantic prospects, either.

    7. Sensitive Guys

    
 Sensitive guys get a bit of a bad rap in the mainstream media. They’re often dismissed as being too feminine, soft or “gay” (like that’s a bad thing in itself), but in reality, women go nuts for men with a sensitive side, and the dismissal of sensitive men is, frankly, hyper-masculine nonsense — think of how attractive many women find Drake, Adrian Brody and Justin Bieber, for example.

    Sensitivity, again, is something you can cultivate, and it boils down to the little things, like listening and remembering things your girlfriend tells you, and then proving it in small ways later. It also involves being in touch with your feelings and those of other people, and communicating honestly and openly. Most of the world’s best music, writing and acting comes from a place of sensitivity, and, generally speaking, no one could honestly claim that musicians, writers and actors aren’t successful with women. Give sensitivity a go!

    8. Stylish Guys

    Men with an impeccable sense of style and personal grooming rarely do badly with women. Being decked out in designer gear at all times isn’t necessary, but it is important to take care of your appearance, scent and personal grooming, and men who put in a touch more effort than most are usually rewarded with a bit more female attention.

    It’s not simply a superficial thing, either: Putting effort into your personal style gives women a glimpse into your personality, level of attention to detail, and personal pride. So if your daily go-to is unwashed sweatpants, it might be worth reconsidering your approach here and investing in a good wardrobe, signature scent and grooming routine.

    9. Hot Guys

    
 Speaking of the superficial, we won’t beat around the bush with this one: women, on the whole, like good looking men. Surprise! We live in a looks-obsessed time and culture, and there’s no getting around the fact that men who are genetically blessed will struggle far less than the rest when it comes to women.

    Men with washboard abs and defined jawlines will attract the attention of the opposite sex, there’s no doubt about that. Fortunately, though, for more humble looking men, it’s rarely the be all and end all for women, and the old cliché about personality mattering most definitely rings true. Still, if you have been told you have gorgeous eyes or sexy legs, those are worthwhile things to have in your arsenal of attractive qualities, too.

    10. Guys Like You

    I know what you’re thinking: “Guys like me? Pffft. That’s a wishy-washy, feel-good way to end a list of types of guys women can’t resist. Women are plenty able to resist me.” Fair point, but bear with me. The simple truth is that women aren’t a monolith, and the type of guys that some women are instantaneously attracted to won’t raise another woman’s pulse whatsoever. Have you ever heard a group of women sitting around and debating whether Drake is attractive? Some of them want him to immediately impregnate them, and others can’t fathom letting him touch them. That’s exactly the point: There’s so much room for subjectivity and personal preference here.

    There are clusters of qualities that are widely attractive, like the ones I’ve detailed above. But no matter who you are, you have some combination of qualities that will be irresistible to at least a few of the three and a half billion or so women on earth. That’s not feel-good nonsense, it’s just hard facts.

    So, whatever it is that’s good about you — your sense of style, your wit, your in-depth knowledge of bee colonies or your ability to bench press a small car — someone will be delighted by that, and she just might be the woman of your dreams. A lot of relationship advice exhorts you to simply “be yourself”, and that’s partly true, but it’s important not to rest on your laurels; instead, you want to be the best possible version of yourself. Hone your talents, brush up on your sensitivity, brush your hair, and bask in the adoring attention of women everywhere — or, at least, one somewhere!

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