Wondering why you aren't getting anywhere with that cute girl at work? Confused because the girl you met on Tinder blew you off after your first date? Was it something you said? She probably won't tell you, because she's polite. Good news — that doesn't mean you're doomed to ignorance forever! There are certain conversational traps that men often fall into, like bad habits. You may not even realize it but if you're doing any of the things on this list, there's an excellent chance she thinks you're annoying:
1) Joking When Women Are Being Serious
Yeah, yeah, you all heard that women love funny men. That doesn't mean that you'll win her heart by firing off jokes when she's in the middle of a work crisis! Contrary to popular opinion, it probably won't make her feel better. She's trying to talk about something that's important to her and you're seizing the opportunity to make a joke that SNL did five years ago. I hate to break it to you, but it wasn't funny then and it certainly won't strike her as funny when she's upset because she deleted the wrong file on her computer.
2) Correcting Us On Points Of Trivia
She says in her OkCupid profile that she's watched all twelve of Quentin Tarantino's films. You, being a Tarantino buff, know that the man has directed thirteen films. You’re itching to point this out to her — surely she’ll be grateful for the correction!
No, friend. She will not. Nor will she appreciate you pointing out that her favorite band was formed in 1999 instead of 1998. Here's a simple test: Is the correction Really Important? Is it a life-or-death issue? If it's not, consider letting this one go. Unless she's trying to win Local Trivia Night, chances are she will be unimpressed by your correction.
3) Giving Us Tongue-In-Cheek Compliments
You know that scene in that romantic movie where the girl comes down the stairs in a breathtaking ball gown and her date says jokingly "Jeez, you could've at least made an effort"? No? That's because that's not the stuff of romance.
I know: complimenting women is scary and for suckers because it makes you seem vulnerable. If you tell her how beautiful she looks, she might think you like her! Here's the thing: you have to put yourself out there sometimes. A sincere, well-timed compliment will stay with her for a long, long time. And you want to be that guy who stays in her head for a long, long time.
4) Unsolicited Advice On How To Fix Our Problems
Sometimes women talk about their problems without wanting advice on how to solve them. A radical concept! But it is born of a basic human need: the need to vent. When she tells you about the horrible thing Martha said to her at brunch, you don't need to immediately respond with, "Well, why don't you tell Martha to take a hike?" Chances are she already knows what the solution is. Maybe the obvious solution is not feasible, for whatever reason. (Maybe Martha is planning on leaving her money in the will.) Whatever the situation, it can be annoying to be given obvious advice. If she isn't asking you for advice, maybe she doesn't want it.
5) Never Asking Us Questions About How We Are
If you're texting a girl, be sure to ask her questions. Why? Because if you don't, the conversation will die. It's really as simple as that. How can you play tennis with a partner who doesn't return your ball? Why should she respond to a long text about your day, unless you follow up with "How was your day?" She wants to date a man who's interested in her life. What books she likes. What her favorite flavor of ice cream is. If you're not psychic and you don't ask her questions, how will you ever figure out it's mint chocolate chip?
6) Always Talking About What They Find Hot & Not
"I don't think it's hot when women —" What’s that? The beginning of a sentence that’s a terrible idea, actually. Women aren't necessarily looking for your opinion on whether you prefer blondes or brunettes, or whether sandals are attractive! Sandals are comfortable — she's not wearing them expressly for the purpose of your boner. Even if you're talking about something you find hot, this line of conversation can backfire. It sounds as if your opinion is the only one that matters, and that's never a good thing.
7) Seizing Every Opportunity To Have A Debate
No, her Facebook status is not the place for you to begin a 300-comment thread debating her opinion. Debating isn't necessarily fun! It can be exhausting to have everything you say questioned or argued with. If you don't agree with something your date says, you don't have to have a debate about it. Imagine being the guy she tells her friend about the next day: "It was so awful! He spent the whole main course arguing about whyBreaking Bad was a better show than The Wire." Pick your battles.
8) Expecting Us To Entertain Them
Here's a good rule of thumb: Don't just talk to women because you're bored. The "I'm bored. What's up?" text is something every woman has gotten, and it's always annoying. Even worse, it has about as much sex appeal as a wet sock. Now she's thinking of you as a guy who has absolutely nothing fun or creative to say. Yuck. Similarly, you shouldn't be expecting women to be doing the entertaining on dates. Too many guys sit back, fold their arms, and expect the woman to impress them. You're advertising yourself, too! Talk about things that excite you. Talk about why lobsters look like a mistake of nature. This is a two-way street, bucko.
RELATED: Women On Reddit Reveal Sexy, Subtle Gestures That Turn Them On
9) Quizzing Us When We Say We Like Something
"Oh, you drink whiskey? Really? I find that hard to believe… what brand? Don't worry, I won't judge you. Well, only a little bit." It's 2016. Time to learn that women may like lots of the things you like! Including video games, sports, comics, cheap beer, and even that one really manly show you watch where dudes wrestle grizzly bears in the outback. If you guys have stuff in common, that's great! Talk about it. But don't act as if she automatically has something to prove. Playing gatekeeper isn't attractive, and you're wasting valuable time that you could be spending talking about that grizzly bear wrestling show you both like so much.
There you have it — how not to annoy women. And, as any woman will tell you, not being annoying goes a long way to romantic success.